Batman: Fury Road
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: Oh what a fanfic. WHAT A LOVELY LOVELY LOVELY FANFIC! An all-toon cast parody of Mad Max: Fury Road
1. Chapter 1

**Batman: Fury Road**

 **This is a Misc. Cartoons parody of Mad Max Fury Road. All properties belong to Warner Bros. Studios. First off, here is the cast! Chapter 1 will be uploaded ASAP!**

 **Cast**

 **Batman (Batman the Animated Series) as "Bat" Bruce Rockatansky**

 **Helga (Atlantis the Lost Empire) as Imperatoon Helga**

 **Zim (Invader Zim) as Immortoon Zim**

 **Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender) as Zuk**

 **Jack Spicer (Xiaolin Showdown) as Spice**

 **Deadpool (Marvel) as the Doof Warrior**

 **Sheen (Jimmy Neutron) as Morsov**

 **Elsa (Frozen) as the Elsa Angharad**

 **Handsome Jack (Borderlands) as the Bullet Farmer**

 **Blob (X-Men: Evolution) as the People Eater**

 **Dr. Zed (Borderlands) as the Organic Mechanic**

 **Mrs. Tweedy (Chicken Run) as Miss Tweedy**

 **Lady Tremaine (Cinderella) as the Keeper of the Seeds**

 **Pocahontas (Pocahontas) as Valkyrie**

 **Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) as Aurora the Fragile**

 **Dora (Dora the Explorer) as Dora the Knowing**

 **Crysta (FernGully: The Last Rainforest) as Crysta the Dag**

 **Jean Grey (X-Men: Evolution) as Capable**

 **Gaston (Beauty and the Beast) as Gastus Erectus**

 **Jeice (Dragon Ball Z) as Jeice the Ace**

 **Creeper (The Black Cauldron) as Creepus Colossus**

 **Various Others as War Boys, Buzzards, Rock Riders, etc.**

 **Vicki Vale (Batman Arkham Games) as Vicki the Dead**

 **Batgirl (Batman the Animated Series) as Barbara the Child**

 **Jason Todd (Batman under the Red Hood) as Hallucination #1**

 **Thomas Wayne (Batman the Animated Series) as Hallucination #2**

 **Martha Wayne (Batman: The Animated Series) as Hallucination #3**

 **Privates Bethany Westmoreland and Sarah Campbell (Mass Effect) as our Hostesses and Themselves**


	2. Chapter 2

**Batman: Fury Road**

 **Chapter 1: My Name is Bruce**

 **AN: This story will be in script mode btw**

*NOISES. ZOOM IN ON A TINTED WB LOGO. BLACKNESS. SOUNDS OF ENGINE REVVING AS THE WB LOGO IS SHOWN. CUT TO DC COMICS LOGO ALSO TINTED. BLACKNESS*

BRUCE: MY NAME IS BRUCE. MY WORLD IS FIRE AND BLOOD

CAPTION: A PRODUCTION

VOICE: 911, WHAT'S YOUR EMERGENCY?

VOICE ON PHONE: HELP! IT'S THE OIL!

VOICE: WHY ARE YOU HURTING THESE PEOPLE?!

VOICE #2: IT'S THE OIL STUPID!

VOICE: WHO KILLED THE WORLD?!

CAPTIONS: KEVIN CONROY AS BRUCE ROCKATANSKY CLAUDIA CHRISTIAN AS IMPERATOON HELGA

VOICE #3: OIL WARS. WE ARE KILLING FOR GUZZOLINE

VOICE 4: THE WORLD IS RUNNING OUT OF WATER. WATER WARS

VOICE 5: NOW THERE'S THE WATER WARS

BRUCE: ONCE, I WAS A COP. A DARK KNIGHT, SEARCHING FOR A RIGHTEOUS CAUSE

VOICE 6: GETTING CLOSER TO THE TERMINAL FREAKOUT POINT

VOICE 7: TOONKIND HAS GONE ROGUE, TERRORIZING ITSELF

CUT TO BLACK AND WHITE SHOWING OF THERMONUCLEAR BOMBING

VOICE 8: ROBOTIC THERMONUCLEAR SKIRMISH

VOICE 9: THE EARTH IS SOUR

VOICE 10: OUR BONES ARE POISONED

VOICE 11: WE HAVE BECOME HALF-LIFE

CAPTION: A MR. BRAM STOKER PARODY

BRUCE: AS THE WORLD FELL, EACH OF US, IN OUR OWN WAY WAS BROKEN. IT WAS HARD TO KNOW WHO WAS MORE CRAZY…

CUT TO SHADOWY FIGURE OVERLOOKING POST-APOCALYPTIC AUSTRALIAN HORIZON NEXT TO BATMOBILE INTERCEPTOR. THIS IS OUR HERO, BRUCE ROCKATANSKY, THE ROAD KNIGHT

BRUCE: ME? OR EVERYONE ELSE?

SILENCE. PAN OUT ON BRUCE. CLOSE UP ON MUTATED TWO HEADED GOLDEN GECKO.

BARBARA: HELLO? WHERE ARE YOU?

GOLDEN GECKO THEN MOVES OFF OF ROCK AND CLOSER TO BRUCE

BARBARA: (CONT.) WHERE ARE YOU BRUCE?

BRUCE: HERE THEY COME AGAIN

VICKI: (WHISPERING) BRUCE ROCKATANSKY

BRUCE: WORMING THEIR WAY INTO THE BLACK MATTER OF MY BRAIN

BARBARA, VICKI: HELP US BRUCE. YOU PROMISED TO HELP US

SQUASH. BRUCE CRUSHES THE GECKO WITH HIS BOOT, SCRAPES IT UP AND EATS IT

BRUCE: I TELL MYSELF. THEY CANNOT TOUCH ME. THEY ARE LONG DEAD

BRUCE THEN TURNS HIS HEAD AS HE HEARS ENGINES REVVING. HE IMMEDIATELY PACKS EVERYTHING UP AND GETS INTO THE DRIVER'S SEAT OF THE BATMOBILE INTERCEPTOR. ENGINE STARTS WHIRRING UP AND REVS AS THE INTERCEPTOR DRIVES OFF

IMMEDIATELY AFTER FAST-MOVING VEHICLES FOLLOW THE INTERCEPTOR. PALE-SKINNED, BALD, SHIRTLESS MEN ARE ON THE VEHICLES, CACKLING INSANELY. THESE ARE THE WAR TOONS.

CUT TO WAR TOONS GAINING ON THE INTERCEPTOR. WAR TOON GRUNTS FIERCELY AS HE LAUNCHES A THUNDERSTICK AT THE WHEEL OF THE INTERCEPTOR. EXPLOSION. THE INTERCEPTOR TOSSES AND TUMBLES BEFORE SETTLING DOWN ON THE GROUND AS BRUCE STUMBLES OUT

BRUCE: I AM THE ONE… WHO RUNS FROM BOTH THE LIVING… AND THE DEAD. HUNTED BY SCAVENGERS. HAUNTED BY THOSE I COULD NOT PROTECT

CUT TO FLASHBACK OF BARBARA RUN OVER BY PURSUIT VEHICLES. BRUCE WEAKLY STAGGERS OUT OF THE INTERCEPTOR. CUT TO FLASHBACK OF BRUCE HOLDING BARBARA'S AND VICKI'S CORPSES

BRUCE: SO I EXIST IN THIS WASTELAND

WAR TOONS LAUGH AND CHEER. ONE PLACES HIS FOOT ON BRUCE'S SHOULDER, HALTING HIM AS HE COCKS HIS RIFLE AND AIMS IT AT HIS HEAD.

CUT TO WAR TOON VEHICLES RIDING BACK TO THE CITADEL WITH THE INTERCEPTOR AND BRUCE

BRUCE: A MAN, REDUCED TO A SINGLE INSTINCT. SURVIVE

BLACKNESS

CUT TO INNER DOMAINS OF THE CITADEL. SOUNDS OF SCISSORS CUTTING ARE HEARD. MINIATURE WAR TOONS GATHER SCRAPS OF BRUCE'S HAIR AS HE'S STRAPPED TO A TABLE BEING SHAVED AND PREPPED AS A BLOOD BAG. WE SEE A BADLY GRIZZLY-LOOKING MAN BURNING TATTOOS ON BRUCE'S BODY. ONE OF THEM READS NEGATIVE HI-OCTANE UNIVERSAL DONOR

FLASH OF FIRE. A WAR TOON PLUCKS A BRANDING IRON OUT OF THE FORGE AND BRINGS IT TOWARD BRUCE. CLOSE UP ON BRANDING IRON. IT IS THE FIERY SYMBOL OF A SKULL. BRUCE GRUNTS, PUSHES THE WAR TOONS OFF, AND RUNS, THE WAR TOONS FOLLOWING SUIT, SHOUTING INCOHERENTLY

BRUCE KEEPS RUNNING UNTIL HE COMES ACROSS THE REPAIR ROOM WHERE WAR TOONS ARE REPAIRING HIS BATMOBILE INTERCEPTOR. HE HEADS FOR THE CAR, JUMPS OVER THE ROOF OF THE CAR AND HEADS DOWN ANOTHER CORRIDOR, THE WAR TOONS STOPPING WHAT THEY'RE DOING TO OBSERVE THIS

BRUCE THEN SEES A GRATE WITH SKYLIGHT. THE WAR TOONS ALMOST SURROUND HIM. BRUCE THEN LUNGES FOR A ROPE LEADING UP TO THE GRATE, PUSHING A WAR TOON OFF OF HIM AND INTO THE WATER. BRUCE GASPS AS HE SEES A FIGURE STARING AT HIM THROUGH THE GRATE. IT IS BARBARA

BARBARA: BRUCE, BRUCE? IS THAT YOU? WHERE WERE YOU, WHERE WERE YOU?

A WAR TOON SCREAMS FIERCELY AND PLUNGES BRUCE INTO THE WATER. UNDERWATER, BRUCE SEES BARBARA AGAIN

BARBARA: HELP US, HELP US, WHERE WERE YOU? HELP US. WHERE WERE YOU, BRUCE?

BRUCE EMERGES FROM THE WATER, GRAPPLES A WAR TOON WITH HIS CUFFS THEN TOSSES HIM INTO THE WATER, KNOCKING THE OTHER WAR TOONS DOWN IN A REACTION. BRUCE OPENS A DOOR AND RUNS FORWARD, HIS HALLUCINATIONS INCREASING RAPIDLY

BARBARA: WHERE WERE YOU, BRUCE? STOP RUNNING

BRUCE THEN SEES A HALLUCINATION OF THOMAS, HIS FATHER

THOMAS: YOU LET US DIE, YOU LET US DIE

BRUCE RUNS THROUGH ANOTHER DOOR, SEEING A HALLUCINATION OF JASON TODD

JASON: YOU LET US DIE! YOU LET US DIE!

BRUCE EVENTUALLY COMES ACROSS A RAVINE LEADING TO A VAST OUTDOOR SURROUNDING OF THE CITADEL. BRUCE TAKES A FEW STEPS BACKWARD, HEARS THE WAR TOONS CHARGING AT HIM, LEAPS FOR THE HOOK AND GRABS IT. A WAR TOON NAMED ROGER RABBIT GRABS ONTO BRUCE'S LEGS BUT FALLS

ROGER: WITNESS!

SPLAT. THE WAR TOONS GUFFAW WITH AMUSEMENT AT THIS EVENT. THE WAR TOONS FINALLY GRAB HOLD OF BRUCE AND PULL HIM BACK IN AS THE DOORS SHUT

CAPTION: BATMAN FURY ROAD

BLACKNESS. FADE OUT ON TITLE

FADE IN ON NECK WITH SKULL LOGO BRANDED. THIS IS OUR HEROINE, IMPERATOON HELGA. HELGA WALKS UP TO THE FRONT OF THE CITADEL'S VEHICLE, THE WAR RIG, AND THE WAR TOONS IN THEIR VEHICLES WATCHING HER. SOUNDS OF WHEELS AND PULLEYS ARE HEARD AS THE TANKER OF THE WAR RIG IS BEING WHEELED DOWN, WITH SEVERAL WAR TOONS AND HELGA'S SECOND IN COMMAND JEICE THE ACE ON BOARD. HELGA CLIMBS INTO THE FRONT OF THE WAR RIG, SHUTS THE DOOR. HELGA EXHALES AS SHE PLACES THE STEERING WHEEL WITH THE SKULL MOTIF ONTO THE DRIVING INGNITION.

CUT TO WAR TOONS BREATHING WHITE POWDER ON A FAT, PASTEY WHITE, OBESE BODY. A GROTESQUE COUGHING SOUND IS HEARD. THIS IS OUR VILLAIN, IMMORTOON ZIM.

CUT BACK TO TANKER WITH WAR TOONS LOWERING DOWN.

WAR TOON: WE ARE WAR TOONS!

WAR TOONS: WAR TOONS!

PLATFORM STOPS AS WAR TOONS HURRIEDLY HOOK ON THE TANKER TO THE RIG

WAR TOON: KAMAKRAZEE WAR TOONS!

WAR TOONS: WAR TOONS!

WAR TOON: FUCACIMA KAMAKRAZEE WAR TOONS!

JEICE: HOOKED ON!

WAR TOONS HEAD UP ON TOP OF THE TANKER AS JEICE CONNECTS THE PLYING CORDS TO THE RIG,

JEICE: TODAY, WE HEADED TO GAS TOWN!

WAR TOONS: GAS TOWN!

CUT TO HELGA ACTIVATING SWITCHES ON THE WAR RIG AND STARTING THE ENGINE

JEICE: TODAY WE HAULIN' AQUA COLA

WAR TOONS: AQUA COLA

ZIM WHEEZING IS HEARD AS WAR TOONS PLACE ON HIS ARMORED BREASTPLATE ON HIS BACK.

JEICE: TODAY WE HAULIN' PRODUCE!

WAR TOONS: PRODUCE!

JEICE: AND TODAY, WE HAULIN MOTHER'S MILK!

JEICE SAYS THIS AS WAR TOONS HOOK ON ANOTHER TANKER CONNECTING THE MILK.

WAR TOONS: MOTHER'S MILK!

CUT TO WAR TOONS PLACING THE CHEST BREASTPLATE WITH VARIOUS MEDALS AND MEDALLIONS ON ZIM'S CHEST AS CHANTING IS FAINTLY HEARD. THE BREASTPLATES MAKE A RESOUNDING CLICK. A WAR TOON PLACES A HEAVY BLACK IRON BELT WITH THE SKULL MOTIF LOGO ONTO HIS TORSO.

OUTSIDE A CROWD OF WEARY, IRRADIATED SURVIVORS ARE GATHERED AROUND THE CITADEL, BANGING WOODEN CUPS AND BOWLS TOGETHER IN SYNC JUST AS A HIDEOUS HORSE GAS VENTILATOR MASK IS PLACED ON ZIM'S FACE. IT IS A HORRIFIC SIGHT.

CROWD: ZIM, ZIM, ZIM! IMMORTOON ZIM!

WAR TOONS COME CLOSER TO THE CITADEL STANDING ATTENTION. ZIM'S SON, GASTUS ERECTUS AND THE PRIME IMPERATOON HELP ZIM UP AS THE WAR PUPS AND TOONS BOW TO HIM, WALKING OFF. ZIM MOVES FORWARD, LABORED BREATHING AS CREEPUS COLOSSUS WATCHES FROM AFAR.

SPOTLIGHT SHINES ON FRONT OF THE CITADEL OPENING. THE PRIME IMPERATOON REACHES THE BALCONY AND PLACES A MICROPHONE TO HIS LIPS

PRIME IMPERATOON: REV IT UP FOR THE IMMORTOON ZIM!

CROWD ROARS LOUDLY AS IMMORTOON ZIM APPEARS AND TAKES THE MICROPHONE, RAISING HIS HANDS FORWARD TO SILENCE THE CROWD. FEEDBACK FROM THE MICROPHONE IS HEARD AS ZIM SPEAKS

ZIM: ONCE AGAIN, WE SEND OFF OUR WAR RIG TO BRING BACK GUZZOLINE FROM GAS TOWN AND BULLETS FROM THE BULLET FARM!

CLOSE UP ON HELGA, HANDS ON STEERING WHEEL, PATIENT, DETERMINED LOOK ON HER FACE

ZIM: (CONT.) ONCE AGAIN, I SALUTE MY IMPERATOON, HELGA! AND I SALUTE…

THE WAR TOONS CROSS THEIR HANDS IN A PRAISING SALUTE

ZIM: MY HALF-LIFE WAR TOONS, WHO WILL RIDE WITH ME ETERNAL ON THE HIGHWAYS OF VALHALLA

WAR TOONS CHANT V8 IN A RHYTHM

ZIM: I AM YOUR REDEEMER! IT IS BY MY HAND… YOU WILL RISE… FROM THE ASHES… OF THIS WORLD!

CROWD APPLAUDS AGAIN. OLD CRAGGLY MAN LOOKS THROUGH BINOCULARS TO GET A CLOSER LOOK. ZIM RAISES HIS ARMS FORWARD. CROWD SILENCES

OLD MAN: I-IT'S COMING.

OLD WOMAN: YES, YES, YES. IT'S COMING

PEOPLE MOAN AND GROAN AS THEY MOVE FORWARD TO THE WATERING HOLE. ZIM THEN PULLS DOWN THE LEVERS, A GREAT NOISE IS HEARD, AND THE RUSHING OF WATER FLOWS OUT. THE CROWD CHEERS AND FILL THEIR CUPS AND BOWLS WITH IT. RESOUNDING MUSIC IS HEARD. ZIM THEN PULLS THE LEVERS UP, THE WATER TURNING OFF

HELGA WATCHES THIS, A GLARE RUNNING ACROSS HER FACE

ZIM: DO NOT, MY FRIENDS… BECOME ADDICTED TO WATER

CROWD STUMBLES OUT OF WADING POOL

ZIM: IT WILL TAKE HOLD OF YOU AND YOU WILL RESENT IT'S ABSENCE

WAR TOONS WALK OFF, SOUNDS OF DRUMS BEATING ARE HEARD AS THE PLATFORM IS RAISED UPWARD. THE OLD PEOPLE TRY TO CLIMB ON BUT GET PUSHED AND SHOVED OFF BY GUARDS

ZIM WATCHES THE WAR RIG LEAVE THE CITADEL THEN TURNS AWAY, GASTUS TURNING TO THE PRIME IMPERATOON

GASTUS: SIGNAL GAS TOWN, CONVOY'S ON IT'S WAY

ENGINE REVVING AS WAR RIG AND PURSUIT VEHICLES DRIVE DOWN THE DUST-COVERED HIGHWAYS EN ROUTE TO GAS TOWN

CUT TO BRUCE IN A METAL CAGE, GLARING OMINOUSLY AT THE SKY

ORGANIC MECHANIC: I GOT A WAR TOON RUNNING ON EMPTY. HOOK UP THAT FULL-LIFE

TWO WAR TOONS HEAD OVER TO BRUCE'S CAGE. ONE PULLS DOWN THE BOTTOM, THE OTHER PRODS BRUCE WITH A SHOCK STICK. BRUCE GRUNTS IN PAIN

ORGANIC MECHANIC: HEY! CAREFUL, THAT'S A UNIVERSAL DONOR!

BLACKNESS

CUT BACK TO WAR RIG DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD. HELGA SEES LIGHT BEAMING FROM THE CITADEL AND A SIGNALLIGHT GLEAMING FROM GAS TOWN. HELGA LOOKS OVER HER SHOULDER AND CHANGES GEAR, DRIVING EAST. JEICE MAKES HIS WAY OVER TO THE DRIVER'S CABIN

JEICE: BOSS, WE'RE NOT HEADED TO GAS TOWN? THE BULLET FARM?

HELGA: WE'RE HEADING EAST

JEICE NODS IN COMPLIANCE

JEICE: I'LL PASS IT DOWN THE LINE

JEICE THEN TURNS TO A PASSING BY PURSUIT CAR

JEICE: WE'RE HEADING EAST! THIS IS NOT A SUPPLY RUN

WAR TOON: WHY?

JEICE: I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S THE ORDER

*TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 2*


	3. Chapter 3

**Batman Fury Road**

 **Chapter 3: I AM AWAITED IN VALHALLA**

INSTANTLY CUT TO OBESE WOMEN SITTING IN CHAIRS WITH THEIR BREASTS BEING PUMPED OF MILK. THESE ARE IMMORTOON ZIM'S BREEDERS. ZIM HOLDS A BOTTLE OF FRESH MILK AND HANDS IT TO GASTUS. GASTUS TAKES A SIP

CREEPUS: HEY, PA?

ZIM: HRRM?

CREEPUS: YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?

ZIM AND GASTUS HEAD OVER TO CREEPUS' LOOKOUT PERCH. CREEPUS IS A SHORT, GREEN, SCALY DEFORMED MIDGET WITH A LAZY EYE

CREEPUS: YOUR PRODUCE AINT GOIN' TO GAS TOWN

ZIM PEERS INTO TELESCOPE AND SEES THE WAR RIG AND CONVOY HEADING EASTWARD

CREEPUS: SHE'S GONE OFF ROAD… INTO HOSTILE TERRITORY

ZIM LOOKS BACK WITH A FACE OF HORROR AND FURY

GASTUS: WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?

ZIM RACES OFF IN A HURRY. GASTUS TRIES TO USE THE TELESCOPE AS CREEPUS BLOCKS HIM

GASTUS: LEMME SEE, LEMME SEE.

CREEPUS: GASTUS

GASTUS: I WANNA SEE

CREEPUS: GASTUS… GO SEE WHAT'S AGITATING DAD

GASTUS WALKS OFF, FOLLOWING ZIM. ZIM COMES ACROSS A HUGE STEEL VAULT. ZIM OPENS THE VAULT AND HEADS INTO A SOLITARY ROOM WHERE THE FIVE WIVES ARE KEPT

ZIM: ELSA? ANGHARAD?

ZIM THEN SEES THE WORDS "OUR BABIES WILL NOT BE WARLORDS" PAINTED IN THE FRONT OF THE CENTER OF THE ROOM. ZIM TURNS AROUND TO SEE "WHO KILLED THE WORLD?" WRITTEN ON THE WALL AND AS ZIM SEES THE BEDROOM, HE SEES "WE ARE NOT THINGS" WRITTEN BEHIND THE WIVES' TEACHER AND TUTOR, MISS TWEEDY, THE HISTORY WOMAN

ZIM: WHERE ARE THEY?

COCKING OF SHOTGUN IS HEARD AS TWEEDY POINTS IT AT ZIM'S DIRECTION

TWEEDY: THEY ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTY

ZIM: MISS TWEEDY?!

ZIM WALKS TOWARD HER, ENRAGED

TWEEDY: YOU CANNOT OWN A TOON! SOONER OR LATER, SOMEONE PUSHES BACK

ZIM: WHERE IS SHE TAKING THEM?!

TWEEDY: SHE DIDN'T TAKE THEM, THEY BEGGED HER TO GO!

ZIM GRABS TWEEDY'S SHOTGUN, IT GOES OFF, HITTING THE CEILING

ZIM: WHERE IS SHE TAKING THEM?

TWEEDY: A LONG WAY FROM YOU

ZIM DRAGS TWEEDY AWAY, TWEEDY SCREAMS. PAN TO WAR TOON SITTING ON BENCH. THIS IS ZUK. ZUK THEN HEARS THE FAINT SOUNDS OF ENGINES REVVING AND DRUMS BEATING. INSTANTLY WAR TOONS RUN OVER TO THE SKULL IDOL TO GET THE STEERING WHEELS FOR THEIR CARS. ZUK'S LANCER, SPICE, WALKS FORWARD

ZUK: HEY? HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENING?

NO ONE ANSWERS HIM, SPICE WALKS RIGHT PAST ZUK, A SCOWL ON HIS FACE

ZUK: SPICE! WHAT'S GOING ON? SPICE!

DANNY: TREASON! BETRAYAL! AN IMPERATOON GONE ROGUE!

ZUK: AN IMPERATOON? WHO?

DANNY: HELGA! SHE TOOK A LOT OF STUFF FROM IMMORTOON ZIM

ZUK: WHAT STUFF?

DANNY: BREEDERS, HIS PRIZE BREEDERS! HE WANTS 'EM BACK, NOT A HAND LAID ON 'EM

CUT TO ZIM'S VEHICLE THE GIGAHORSE BEING BROUGHT DOWN

SPICE: BY MY DEEDS, I HONOUR HIM, V8.

SPICE GRABS A STEERING WHEEL AND STARTS WALKING TOWARD HIS CAR. A CRAZED WAR TOON CACKLES TAUNTINGLY AT ZUK. ZUK THEN LEAPS UP AND GRABS THE WHEEL

ZUK: THAT'S MY WHEEL

SPICE: I'M DRIVING

ZUK: YOU'RE MY LANCER

SPICE: I JUST PROMOTED MYSELF

SPICE SAYS THIS AS HE DRAGS THE WHEEL AND ZUK FORWARD, A BLOOD CORD CONNECTING ZUK TO AN UNCONSCIOUS BRUCE, HANGING UPSIDE DOWN

ZUK: NOT TODAY. TODAY IS MY DAY

SPICE: LOOK AT YOU IF YOU CAN'T STAND UP, YOU CAN'T DO WAR

ORGANIC MECHANIC: HE'S RIGHT, SON

ZUK: I'M NOT STAYIN' HERE DYIN' SOFT

ORGANIC MECHANIC: PAH, YOU'RE A CORPSE

ZUK: I JUST NEED A TOP-UP MORE JUICE

SPICE: THERE'S NO TIME!

ZUK THEN GLANCES AT BRUCE AND AN IDEA POPS INTO HIS HEAD

ZUK: WE TAKE MY BLOOD BAG! TAKE MY BLOOD BAG AND STRAP HIM ONTO THE LANCER'S PERCH

SPICE: IT'S GOT A MUZZLE ON IT, A RAGING FERAL

ZUK HAS A MANIC GRIN ON HIS FACE

ZUK: THAT'S RIGHT. HI-OCTANE UNIVERSAL CRAZY BLOOD FILLIN' ME UP!

ZUK HEADBUTTS SPICE TO THE GROUND AND STANDS OVER HIM, CONFIDENT

ZUK: IF I'M GONNA DIE… I'M GONNA DIE HISTORIC ON THE FURY ROAD!

SPICE GETS UP AND GETS CLOSER TO ZUK, PANTING HEAVILY. SPICE THEN STARTS LAUGHING MANIACALLY

SPICE: ORGANIC?

ORGANIC MECHANIC: EHH?

SPICE: HITCH UP HIS BLOOD BAG

ORGANIC MECHANIC: RIGHT-O

CUT TO ALL TYPES OF PURSUIT VEHICLES DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD, WAR TOONS CHANTING AND HOLLERING WILDLY. ZUK'S CAR HAS BRUCE STRAPPED TO THE FRONT WHILE A WAR TOON DRIVES HIS BATMOBILE INTERCEPTOR

BRUCE: HOW MUCH MORE CAN THEY TAKE FROM ME? THEY GOT MY BLOOD, NOW IT'S MY CAR!

CAMERA PANS DOWN TO SEE ZUK WEARING BRUCE'S UTILITY BELT WHILE SPICE STANDS ON HIS PERCH. CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON WAGON. HEAVY METAL ROCK MUSIC IS HEARD AS WE SEE STRANGELY DRESSED MUTANT IN RED PLAYING A FLAMETHROWER ELECTRIC GUITAR. THIS IS THE MASCOT, THE DOOF WARRIOR

ZUK'S CAR COMES NEXT TO ZIM'S. ZUK AND SPICE TRY TO GET ZIM'S ATTENTION

ZUK: IMMORTOON! IMMORTOON ZIM!

ZIM TURNS AND GIVES A STEELY GLARE AT ZUK. ZUK GASPS EXCITEDLY

ZUK: HE LOOKED AT ME! SPICE! HE LOOKED RIGHT AT ME!

BRUCE IS SPOUTING FOREIGN CURSES INCOHERENTLY AS SPICE ARGUES

SPICE: HE LOOKED AT YOUR BLOOD BAG

ZUK: HE TURNED HIS HEAD, HE LOOKED ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYE

SPICE: HE WAS SCANNING THE HORIZON.

ZUK THEN TURNS UP THE GAS IN HIS CAR.

ZUK: NO. I AM AWAITED. I AM AWAITED IN VALHALLA

HE STEPS ON THE GAS PEDAL, THE CAR GOING FASTER, PASSING THE OTHER VEHICLES. ZUK REMOVES THE WHEEL AND HOISTS IT OVER HIS HEAD

ZUK: IMMORTOON!

CAMERA ZOOMS OUT ON WHEEL AS SPICE GRUNTS IN APPROVAL. CUT TO ANGERED LOOK ON BRUCE'S FACE.

CUT TO FLARES BEING FIRED FROM THE SKIES.

WAR TOON: JEICE, HEADS UP!

JEICE JUMPS ONTO THE ROOF AND KNOCKS ON THE TOP. HELGA PULLS IT OPEN

JEICE: BOSS! WE GOT VEHICLES FROM THE CITADEL THEY WANT REINFORCEMENTS FROM GAS TOWN AND THE BULLET FARM

HELGA: WE'RE TAKING A DETOUR

CUT TO SPIKY, ARMOR-PLATED VEHICLE DRIVING UP ON SANDY SLOPE. THESE ARE THE BUZZARDS.

BUZZARD 1: WHAT IS THIS WAR RIG DOING ON OUR PATCH?!

BUZZARD LAUGHS IN APPROVAL

BUZZARD: FOOLISH… BUT WELCOME

HELGA GLANCES AT BUZZARD CAR MOVING DOWN THE SLOPE TOWARDS THE RIG

HELGA: EYES RIGHT!

JEICE: BUZZARDS! BUZZARDS RIGHT, EYES ON, EYES ON!

JEICE TURNS TO HELGA FOR INSTRUCTIONS

JEICE: SHOULD WE TURN AROUND AND RAM 'EM INTO OUR BACKUP?

HELGA: NO, WE'RE GOOD. WE FANG IT

HELGA BLOWS HORN ON WAR RIG TO SIGNAL THE WAR TOONS

WAR TOON: THUNDER UP, HERE WE GO!

WAR TOON CAR COMES ACROSS ROAD TRAP. HELGA GASPS AND DODGES IT AS THE CAR CRASHES AND THE WAR TOON FLIES OFF. WAR TOONS ARE HEARD SHOUTING, HELGA ROLLS HER EYES AS SHE REVS UP THE ENGINE.

BUZZARDS ON MOTORBIKES RUN OVER TWO WAR TOONS. ONE WAR TOON, SHEEN MORSOV, DAMAGES A BIKE WITH A THUNDERSTICK. ANOTHER WAR TOON, ARCHER, EXTENDS HIS HAND, MORSOV GRABS IT AND IS PULLED ABOARD. THE BIKE DRIVER, KENNY MCCORMICK, IS RUN OVER

WHIRRING NOISES IS HEARD AS THE BUZZARDS ARE TRYING TO SLASH THE WAR RIG'S TIRES. WAR TOONS HURL THUNDERSTICKS AT THE BUZZARD CAR, DAMAGING IT UNTIL IT EXPLODES

ANOTHER BUZZARD CAR DRIVES CLOSER TO THE RIGHT OF THE WAR RIG. HELGA PUTS THE WAR RIG ON AUTO-PILOT, GRABS HER CROSSBOW GUN AND HER AND JEICE TOGETHER DESTROY THE ATTACK CAR, JUST AS A BUZZARD MONSTER TRUCK APPEARS WITH A FLAMETHROWER.

MUSIC FROM THE DOOF WARRIOR IS HEARD AS THE WAR PARTY IS SLOWLY GAINING ON THE WAR RIG. CUT TO ZUK'S VEHICLE AS HE, SPICE AND BRUCE ARE COMING CLOSER.

ZUK: SHE'S OURS, SPICE! SHE'S OURS!

SPICE: FIRST WE GET THE BUZZARDS OFF HER BACK

ZUK THUMPS THE DOOR OF THE CAR, SIGNALING SPICE TO FIRE. ZUK AIMS AND HURLS A THUNDERSTICK AT THE BACK OF THE BUZZARD CAR, THE STICK BARELY SCALDING BRUCE'S HEAD

BRUCE: THAT'S MY HEAD!

SPICE GRINS SADISTICALLY. MORSOV CACKLES INSANELY AS HE PEBBLES THE BUZZARD CAR WITH MACHINE GUN BULLETS TO THE POINT WHEN THE ROOF COMES OFF. BEFORE MORSOV CAN FIRE AGAIN, A BUZZARD SHOUTS A CURSE AND SHOOTS MORSOV WITH A DART.

ZUK: GET UP! C'MON! YOU CAN DO IT!

MORSOV SPRAYS HIS FACE WITH CHROME AS HE PREPARES HIS KAMAKRAZEE ATTACK. JEICE AND THE WAR TOONS WATCH THIS IN AMAZEMENT

MORSOV: WITNESS ME!

WAR TOONS SHOUT WITNESS ME ECHOING AS MORSOV FACES THE BUZZARD CAR. MORSOV LETS OUT A BESTIAL ROAR AND LEAPS AT THE CAR, SPICE THROWING A THUNDERSTICK AT MORSOV. MASSIVE EXPLOSION. THE CAR AND MORSOV ARE DESTROYED

ZUK: WITNESSED!

MEANWHILE, HELGA BLARES THE TRUCK HORN JUST AS A BLONDE WOMAN STEALTHILY CRAWLS OUT OF THE TANKER AND HEADS TO THE FRONT. THIS IS THE ELSA ANGHARAD, THE FIRST OF ZIM'S BREEDERS.

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 4 R&R


	4. Chapter 4

**Batman: Fury Road**

 **Chapter 4: I AM THE MAN WHO GRABS THE SUN, RIDING TO VALHALLA!**

MASSIVE EXPLOSION. THE BUZZARD MONSTER TRUCK IS CONSUMED IN FLAMES.

SPICE: NOW WE BRING HOME THE BOOTY

SPICE HEADS BACK TO HIS PERCH AS ZUK TURNS THE CAR AROUND, BRUCE GRUNTING IN PAIN AS HE REALIZES THEY'RE HEADING INTO A MASSIVE SANDSTORM. OMINOUS MUSIC IS HEARD AS JEICE AND THE WAR TOONS OBSERVE THIS

BACK IN THE WAR PARTY, DOOF WARRIOR PERFORMS A HEAVY METAL RIFF AS WAR TOONS SHOUT AND WHOOP IN DELIGHT ON HOW THEY'RE GOING TO HUNT THE ROGUE IMPERATOON DOWN

GASTUS SEES THE SANDSTORM AND TURNS TO ZIM

GASTUS: SHE THINKS SHE CAN LOSE US, DAD! SHE THINKS WE'RE STUPID! SHE THINKS SHE CAN LOSE US IN THERE

ZIM IGNORES HIM, WHEEZING HEAVILY THROUGH HIS GRUESOME MASK

JEICE TURNS TO HELGA, HIS ARM GRABBING HELGA'S NECK. JUST THEN, ZUX'S CAR PULLS UP. HELGA CATCHES A GLANCE OF BRUCE LOOKING AT HER. HELGA NONCHALANTLY WAVES HI, JEICE TURNS AROUND, AND GETS HIT BY A TRAIN.

ZUK'S CAR GETS A FLAT TIRE.

ZUK: SPICE! WE NEED COUNTERWEIGHT! GET THE BLOOD BAG DOWN IN THE BACK!

SPICE HEADS UP TO UNHOOK BRUCE FROM THE PERCH JUST AS HELGA SEALS ALL THE WINDOWS AND ROOF OF THE WAR RIG SHUT AND PUTS ON GOGGLES AND A GARB FOR SAFETY

SPICE IS HOLDING BRUCE'S CHAIN UPWARD, A FIENDISH LOOK IN HIS EYES

SPICE: HEY, HEAD! SAY BUH BYE TO THE NECK! DECAPITO!

ZUK: WE'RE GOING IN, SPICE!

BRUCE SEES HIS CHANCE AND KICKS SPICE OFF OF THE CAR, SPICE GRABBING BRUCE'S LEFT BOOT. ZUK SEALS ALL THE WINDOWS AND ROOF OF HIS CAR SHUT, BRUCE HOLDS ON FOR DEAR LIFE AS THEY ENTER THE RAGING SANDSTORM. WE SEE HUGE SWIRLING TORNADOES, LIGHTNING FLASHING.

ONE LONE WAR TOON VEHICLE IS GAINING ON THE RIG. HELGA SEES IT THROUGH THE MIRROR

ORD: C'MON, WE ALMOST GOT HER!

HELGA REVS UP THE ENGINE AND STEERS THE RIG TOWARDS THE PURSUIT CAR

ZAK: C'MON, KEEP IT STEADY!

THE TWISTER PICKS HOLD OF THE CAR. THE WAR TOONS SCREAM IN HORROR. ZUK WATCHES IN AWE AS THE CAR EXPLODES IN A BRIGHT PULSATING BEAM OF LIGHT, ZAK PASSING BY ZUK'S CAR, ZUK WATCHING THIS THEN CACKLING WITH DELIGHT

ZUK: OH WHAT A DAY, WHAT A LOVELY DAY!

HELGA SEES ZUK'S CAR IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. ZUK STARTS FILLING THE CAR WITH GAS AS HE LIGHTS A FLARE

ZUK: I AM THE MAN… WHO GRABS THE SUN… RIDING TO VALHALLA!

ZUK TURNS TO BRUCE, GRINNING WITH JOY. HIS TEETH ARE YELLOW AND ROTTEN

ZUK: WITNESS ME, BLOOD BAG!

ZUK SPRAYS HIMSELF WITH CHROME TO PREPARE HIS KAMAKRAZEE RUN

ZUK: WITNESS!

BRUCE SUDDENLY REALIZES WHAT ZUK IS DOING, HE PUNCHES THE WINDOW SEVERAL TIMES UNTIL IT BREAKS. BRUCE REACHES AND PAWS AT THE LIT FUSE, ZUK HOLDING IT HIGH

ZUK: I LIVE. I DIE. I LIVE AGAIN!

ZUK ACCIDENTALLY STEPS ON THE BRAKE. THE WAR RIG SLAMS INTO ZUK'S CAR. CRASH. THE CAR TUMBLES INTO THE DESERT, FOCUSES ON THE LIT FLARE AS IT BURNS OUT. FADE OUT

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 5


	5. Chapter 4b

**Batman: Fury Road**

 **Chapter 4b**

WE INTERRUPT THE FOLLOWING PARODY FOR THIS EXTREMELY WEIRD AND NONSENSICAL AD

KID: MR. OWL, HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?

OWL PULLS A MACHINE GUN OUT AND SHOOTS THE KID REPEATEDLY

OWL: GOD, THAT FELT GOOD. MAN, I GET SO ANNOYED WHEN ALL THESE MIDGETS COME TO ME

CREEPUS: I HEARD THAT!

OWL AND CREEPUS HAVE A FIGHT

 **WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PARODY**

 **NO OWLS OR GREEN, SCALY DEFORMED MIDGETS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS AD**

 **PLEASE, FOR THE SAKE OF ANIMALS AND GOBLINS ALIKE, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME**


	6. Chapter 5

**Batman: Fury Road**

 **Chapter 5: HELGA AND HER FIVE WIVES**

MORNING. THERE IS SILENCE IN THE WASTELAND. THE SANDSTORM IS OVER. BRUCE SLOWLY RISES OUT OF THE SAND. HE NOTICES ZUK IS UNCONSCIOUS. BRUCE GRABS HIS ELC CHARGER AND CHECKS ITS BATTERY CARTRIDGE. IT IS HALF-EMPTY. BRUCE GRUNTS IN ANNOYANCE AS HE HOISTS ZUK ON HIS SHOULDER AND WANDERS OFF, FOLLOWING THE TRAIL OF GUZZOLINE THE WAR RIG LEFT BEHIND

ELSA: HELGA?

HELGA: WHAT?

ELSA: ARE WE THERE YET?

HELGA: PRAY TO VALHALLA, CHILD, IF YOU ASK ME THAT ONE MORE TIME…

DORA: OOH! A PIT STOP!

THE WAR RIG STOPS. HELGA AND THE FIVE WIVES GET OUT. HELGA NOTICES AURORA IS ASLEEP.

HELGA: AURORA! GET UP!

AURORA YAWNS AND SLOWLY WANDERS OFF LIKE A ZOMBIE UNTIL SHE RUNS INTO BRUCE, KNOCKING HIM DOWN.

BRUCE GRUNTS AS HE GETS UP AND COMES INTO CONTACT WITH AURORA

BRUCE: HMM…

AURORA: WAIT A SEC. YOU'RE THAT GUY WHO WAS ON THAT CAR THAT OTHER GUY WAS DRIVING

HELGA: AURORA! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING FOR THE WAR PARTY, NOT PLAYING LOOKIE-LOO WITH SOME ROAD KNIGHT!

ZUK'S EYES OPEN AND HE LUNGES AT HELGA, BABBLING IN TONGUES. BRUCE GIVES A MIGHTY YANK WITH THE CHAIN, A CARTOONY YOINK SOUND IS HEARD, AND ZUK IS HURTLING BACK ON THE GROUND

ZUK: LOOK AT THEM, SHINY AND CHROME. WE COULD ASK FOR ANYTHING. I WANNA DRIVE THE WAR RIG

BRUCE TAKES THE UTILITY BELT OFF OF ZUK

BRUCE: THAT'S MY BELT

ZUK: YEAH, YEAH, YOU CAN ASK FOR MORE THAN A BELT!

ELSA: WE'RE GOING TO THE GREEN PLACE

BRUCE AND ZUK IMMEDIATELY FREEZE AT THAT MOMENT

ZUK: WHAT?

HELGA: YOU, HOOD ORNAMENT, GET IN. I'LL GET THAT FACE THING OFF YOUR FACE

BRUCE: K

ZUK: HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME?!

HELGA AND THE WIVES STARE AT ZUK FOR A FEW MOMENTS

ELSA: HEY, WAR TOON, ISNT THAT VALHALLA OVER THERE?

ZUK: OMG, WHERE?!

ELSA: STRAIGHT BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM

ZUK RACES DOWN THE PATH, SCREAMING AND LAUGHING INSANELY

BRUCE: … AND I THOUGHT BARTERTOWN WAS NUTTY ENOUGH

ELSA: BARTERWHATNOW?

BRUCE: LONG STORY. WILL TELL YOU WHEN YOU'RE OLDER

CUT TO ZUK RUNNING TO IMMORTOON ZIM'S WAR PARTY BEFORE HE REALIZES HE'S BEEN DUPED. ZUK IMMEDIATELY CLIMBS INTO THE MILK TANKER AS THE WAR RIG DRIVES OFF JUST AS THE WAR PARTY ARRIVES

HELGA: CAPABLE, WHAT IS IT YOU SEE?

WHILE BRUCE IS UNHOOKING HIS MUZZLE WITH HIS BAT-KNIFE, CAPABLE PULLS OUT A TELESCOPE AND PEERS OUT THE WINDOW

CAPABLE: POLECATS… SCAVS… PSYCHOS… MARAUDERS… AND THE PEOPLE EATER HISSELF

CLOSE UP ON BLOB DRIVING TANKER. THIS IS THE PEOPLE EATER, MAYOR OF GAS TOWN

HELGA: HEY, ROAD KNIGHT?

BRUCE: HRRM?

HELGA: WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

BRUCE: DID YOU READ CHAPTER 1?

HELGA: ….

BRUCE: CALL ME BAT

HELGA: UM… OK

BRUCE: YOU'LL FIND MY REAL NAME EVENTUALLY

JUST THEN ZUK LEAPS UP AND STRANGLES HELGA WITH A CHAIN, SPEAKING IN TONGUES. CAPABLE, ELSA AND AURORA RESTRAIN HIM

ZUK: IT WASN'T MY FAULT! WE WERENT TO BLAME

ELSA: THEN WHO KILLED THE WORLD?! 

ZUK IS SILENT AS HE REALIZES IMMORTOON ZIM IS RESPONSIBLE.

CAPABLE: WE WILL COME BACK FOR YOU

CAPABLE GIVES ZUK A GENTLE PUSH OUT OF THE WAR RIG, BUT NOT BEFORE GIVING HIM HER SCARF AS A KEEPSAKE

ZUK: IMMORTOON! IMMORTOON ZIM!

ZIM HEARS ZUK'S SHOUTING AND RAISES HIS HAND TO COMMAND THE VEHICLES TO STOP AS ZUK APPROACHES THE GIGAHORSE. ON A PURSUIT BIKE IS SPICE

ZIM: WHAT IS IT?

ZUK: I'VE FOUND THEM. THE WIVES ARE IN THE WAR RIG. HEADING TO THE GREEN PLACE

ZIM: CLIMB ABOARD

ZUK: AM I AWAITED?

ZIM GRUNTS

ZIM: WE SHALL SEE

GASTUS: BUT DAD, WHAT ABOUT THE ROAD KNIGHT?

ZIM: PATIENCE, GASTUS. ONCE HELGA IS DEAD AND THE FIVE WIVES ARE MINE AGAIN, THEN I'LL DECIDE HIS FATE

SPICE: HEY! HEY! I GOT HIS BOOT!

SPICE IS SCREAMING THIS AS THE GIGAHORSE DRIVES OFF. OBSERVING THIS IS THE PEOPLE EATER AND HANDSOME JACK, THE BULLET FARMER

BULLET FARMER: ALL THIS OVER A PETTY FAMILY SQUABBLE. HEALTHY TOONS

BULLET FARMER SMIRKS. PEOPLE EATER NODS HIS HEAD

CUT TO ROCK RIDER CHASE. ROCK RIDERS ARE PURSUING THE WAR RIG, THROWING GRENADES. JUST THEN, THE GIGAHORSE GETS CLOSE. ELSA OPENS THE DOOR AND STANDS OUT, DEFENDING CAPABLE AND AURORA AS A MEATSHIELD. ZIM IS SHOCKED

ZIM: ELSA! ELSA, DON'T! THAT'S MY CHILD! THAT'S MY PROPERTY!

ELSA: WE ARE NOT THINGS. WE ARE NOT THINGS!

ELSA SLAMS THE DOOR WITH THAT, ZIM HOLSTERS HIS PISTOL IN FRUSTRATION. ZUK COMES UP

ZUK: IMMORTOON? I KNOW A WAY IN

ZIM LOOKS AT THE OVERLY PSYCHOTIC WAR TOON

ZIM: WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

ZUK: ITS ZUK

ZIM HANDS ZUK HIS REVOLVER

ZIM: GO. PUT A BULLET IN HER SKULL, STOP THE RIG, RETURN MY TREASURES TO ME, AND I MYSELF WILL PERSONALLY CARRY YOU… TO THE GATES OF VALHALLA

ZUK'S FACE BEAMS WITH JOY

ZUK: AM I AWAITED?

ZIM SPRAYS ZUK'S FACE WITH CHROME

ZIM: YOU WILL RIDE ETERNAL, SHINY AND CHROME. GASTUS! HELP HIM ABOARD!

ZUK CLIMBS OVER TO WHERE GASTUS IS STANDING. GASTUS HOOKS A PULLEY TO THE BACK OF ZUK'S PANTS

GASTUS: ALL RIGHT? HERE WE GO

GASTUS TOSSES ZUK ONTO THE TOP OF THE RIG WITH A MIGHTY THROW. AS ZUK SCRAMBLES FORWARD, THE CHAIN SNAGS ON THE RAILING, ZUK SLIPS AND LOSES THE REVOLVER

ZIM: BAH! MEDIOCRE!

ZIM DRIVES OFF IN DISGUST, ZUK SEES GASTUS SHOUT "GOOD JOB" AS AN ACT OF APPRECIATION. HUMILIATED AND DEVESTATED, ZUK CLIMBS INTO THE RIG AND LAYS THERE

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 6


	7. Chapter 6

**Batman Fury Road**

 **Chapter 7: THE SCALES OF JUSTICE**

NIGHT. THE WAR PARTY STOPS AT A QUAGMIRE. DOOF WARRIOR PLAYS A REALLY EERIE RIFF JUST AS BLOB'S TANKER PULLS UP NEXT TO ZIM'S CAR

PEOPLE EATER: WE ARE DOWN 30,000 UNITS OF GUZZOLINE, 12 CANISTERS OF NITRO, SEVEN PURSUIT CARS, THE DEFICIT MOUNTS, AND NOW SIR, YOU HAVE US STUCK IN A QUAGMIRE

QUAGMIRE: GIGGITY

GASTUS: PISS OFF

QUAGMIRE: AAH. ALL RIGHT

ORGANIC MECHANIC: HEY BOSS! ZIM! YOUR GIRLY'S BOUT TO DELIVER

ZIM: WHAT OF THE CHILD?

ORGANIC MECHANIC VIEWS CHILD'S VITALS ON HIS MONITOR

ORGANIC MECHANIC: THEY'RE LOOKIN GOOD

BULLET FARMER'S TANK CAR PULLS UP

BULLET FARMER: ARE YOU COMING, BROTHER?

ZIM: WAIT!

BULLET FARMER ROLLS HIS EYES IN DISRESPECT AND DISGUST

BULLET FARMER: C'MON, FORGET ABOUT YOUR WORTHLESS FIVE HALF-LIFE BIT-

ZIM: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!

BULLET FARMER GULPS

BULLET FARMER: NOTHING

ZIM GRUNTS

ZIM: I THOUGHT SO

BULLET FARMER: STAY HERE BOSS MAN. LET A REAL MAN FETCH EM FOR YOU

PEOPLE EATER: BE CAREFUL, PROTECT THE ASSETS

BULLET FARMER TAKES A 5.56 MILLIMETER BULLET OUT OF HIS MOUTH AND LOADS IT INTO HIS RIFLE

BULLET FARMER: JUST ONE ANGRY SHOT… FOR HELGA! HUT!

THE CAR DOESN'T MOVE

WAR TOON: THIS AINT FOOTBALL, BOSS

BULLET FARMER: HUT MEANS DRIVE, NUMBNUTS!

WAR TOONS REALIZE AND DRIVE OFF

CUT BACK TO WAR RIG. ELSA STARTS CLUTCHING HER STOMACH AND MOANING IN PAIN

HELGA: NOW WHAT?

ELSA: IS THIS A BAD TIME TO SAY MY STOMACH IS HURTING REALLY, REALLY BAD?

HELGA: YES, JARED LETO, IT IS

ZIM HEARS ELSA'S BABY CRYING

GASTUS: I HAD A BROTHER! A BABY BROTHER! HE WAS PERFECT! PERFECT IN EVERY WAY!

ORGANIC MECHANIC: HATE TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE, GASTUS BUT…

ZIM GRABS ORGANIC MECHANIC BY THE SHIRT COLLAR

ZIM: BUT WHAT?!

ORGANIC MECHANIC AND MISS TWEEDY GULP NERVOUSLY

ORGANIC MECHANIC: … IT'S A GIRL

ZIM: V8 DAMN IT!

GASTUS: IS V8 A REAL GOD, DAD? I THOUGHT HE WAS A FRUIT DRINK

CRICKETS CHIRPING

ZIM: I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS

DOOF WARRIOR: HEY! I RESEMBLE THAT REMARK! SCREW U GUYS, I'M GOIN' HOME!

DOOF WARRIOR HEADS TO THE WAR RIG AND HOPS IN JUST AS BULLET FARMER'S VEHICLE MOVES IN ON THE RIG

BULLET FARMER IS SHOOTING BLINDLY WITH HIS PEACEMAKER PISTOLS, POSSIBLY AIMING AT THE WIVES

WAR TOON: OI. I WOULDN'T WANNA HIT THE WIVES IF I WAS YOU, BOSS

BULLET FARMER SMIRKS SNIDELY

BULLET FARMER: IM ONLY PROBING

WAR TOON: IN THE ARSE?

BULLET FARMER SHOOTS WAR TOON IN THE HEAD AND RUNS HIM OVER

WAR TOON #2: GEE BOSS, THAT WAS KINDA UNNECESSARY

BULLET FARMER: SHUT THE HELL UP, NAPPA

NAPPA: K

BRUCE IS FIRING HIS ELC CHARGER AT THE VEHICLE IN THE DISTANCE, HELGA, ZUK, DOOF WARRIOR AND THE WIVES WATCHING

HELGA: GIMME THE CHARGER, GIMME THE CHARGER, GIMME THE CHARGER

HELGA TURNS A KNOB ON THE ELC CHARGER THAT READS OVER 9,000 AND FIRES A GREAT PULSATING BLAST THAT ELECTROCUTES THE BULLET FARMER IN THE EYES

BRUCE SEES THIS AND GIVES HELGA A VERY MENACING GLARE

BRUCE: DON'T. EVER. DO. THAT. AGAIN.

AURORA: OH GET OFF! YOU'RE NOT OUR DAD!

BRUCE: YOU SHAPE UP YOUNG LADY OR IMMA HAUL ALL YOUR ASSES BACK TO ZIM

AURORA: …SORRY

BULLET FARMER IS PLACING A SCALP BLINDFOLD OVER HIS ELECTROCUTED EYES, COMMANDING THE WAR TOON TO DRIVE. ROUSING MUSIC AS BULLET FARMER STRIKES A POSE

BULLET FARMER: **I AM THE SCALES OF JUSTICE! CONDUCTOR OF THE CHOIR OF DEATH! SING, BROTHER HECKLER, SING BROTHER KOCH! SING, BROTHERS! SING! SING! SSSIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGG!**

ZUK: (TO CAMERA) THIS GUY MEANS BUSINESS

HELGA: WHAT THE HELL WAS HE BABBLING ABOUT, ANYWAY?

AURORA: SOMETHING REALLY INSPIRING, SOMETHING ABOUT TAKING BACK THE CITADEL, DEFEATING IMMORTOON ZIM, THAT KINDA THING

ELSA SLAPS THE BACK OF AURORA'S HEAD

ELSA: YOU NERF HEDER! HE DIDN'T SAY THAT!

CRICKETS CHIRPING

ELSA: ….DID HE?

HELGA SHAKES HER HEAD IN AMUSEMENT

HELGA: YOU SEE, BAT? SOME SOLDIERS KNOW HOW TO PAY ATTENTION

AURORA: WOW, MS. HELGA, THAT MAY BE THE FIRST TIME YOU EVER…

HELGA: ZIP IT, WAIT FOR YOUR ORDERS. CAPABLE?

CAPABLE: MYES?

HELGA: SCREAM LIKE A WOMAN!

CAPABLE: WILL DO. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

AURORA SHAKES HER HEAD AS CAPABLE RUNS AROUND IN CIRCLES, SCREAMING

HELGA: AURORA!

AURORA GROANS

AURORA: WHAT?

HELGA: PREPARE TO HEROICALLY SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO SAVE A SUPERIOR OFFICER

AURORA: UM, IM NOT SURE WE ACTUALLY DID THAT

HELGA: ELSA, KISS ASS AT WILL

ELSA: YOU'RE AN EXCELLENT LEADER AND VERY HANDSOME, SIR!

HELGA: BRAVO, ELSA! INCOMING

THE GROUP DODGES A MISSILE AS CAPABLE STILL RUNS AROUND SCREAMING

AURORA: PERMISSION TO ASSIST CAPABLE?

HELGA: PERMISSION DENIED. CONTINUE WITH OPERATION MEATSHIELD. JUST BECAUSE THE BULLETS WONT HURT YOU, THEY'LL MORE LIKELY HIT ME OR

BRUCE KNOCKS HELGA OUT WITH THE BUTT OF THE CHARGER

BRUCE: BOO-YAH

HELGA: JEEZAGOBO!

HELGA COLLAPSES ON THE GROUND, SNORING LOUDLY.

ELSA: FUNNY. I ALWAYS KNEW SHE WAS A HEAVY SLEEPER

BRUCE, CAPABLE, ZUK AND EVERYONE STOPS AND GLARES AT ELSA

ELSA: ….WHAT?

BRUCE: OK, I GOT ONE LAST ATTACK THAT CAN TAKE HIM OUT. ON THE PLUS SIDE, I CAN DO IT WITH ONE HAND

HELGA DAZEDLY WAKES UP

HELGA: OH? WHAT'S THE DOWNSIDE?

BRUCE: YOU'LL HAVE TO DISTRACT HIM

HELGA: THAT DOESN'T SEEM TO…

BRUCE: FOR FIVE MINUTES

HELGA: HUH. DOESN'T SEEM THAT BAD

HELGA CHARGES TO BULLET FARMER AND BEATS THE EPIC CRAP OUTTA HIM WHILE BRUCE HUMS MAHNA MAHNA WHILE CHARGING HIS ELC CHARGER

BRUCE: AW TO HELL WITH IT! **SPECIAL BEAM CANNON!**

A LARGE FIERY LASER BEAM ERUPTS FROM THE CHARGER AND CAUSES THE CAR TO BLOW UP, HELGA WALKING DOWN THE SANDY ROAD, THE EXPLOSION BEHIND HER

HELGA CALMLY HANDS ZUK THE STEERING WHEEL HE WANTED WHILE ELSA SEWS LIFELIKE DUMMIES OF HER, BRUCE, HELGA, THE WIVES, THE DOOF WARRIOR, ZUK, EVEN THE FREAKIN' WAR RIG!

BRUCE: WHAT GOOD WILL THAT DO?

ELSA GIVES BRUCE A WISE GRIN

ELSA: YOU'LL FIND OUT

 **EPIC FORESHADOWING**

CUE GREAT EXPLOSION

HELGA: WHAT IN THE HOLY MOONS WAS THAT?!

NAPPA: HI

HELGA: UH… WHO ARE YOU?

NAPPA: HI. I'M NAPPA. AND THIS IS VEGETA. HE'S A PRISON BITCH

VEGETA: SHUT THE HELL UP, NAPPA

NAPPA: K

VEGETA: ANYWAY WE'RE HERE BECAUSE MY PARTNER AND MY BOSS ARE TOTAL IDIOTS AND….

POV SHOT AS VEGETA SURVEYS THE WASTELAND

VEGETA: ….WHAT THE CRAP? DID KAKAROT SCREW THIS UP? AH, GOD DAMNIT, I KNEW WE SHOULD'VE SENT BROLY

AURORA: ACTUALLY IT WAS THERMONUCLEAR MISSILES WHICH DECIMATED THIS ENITRE REGION

BEAT

VEGETA: OH F*** THIS LET'S GO


End file.
